Unbecoming

I lost myself into the night
And I flew higher
Than I had ever
But I still felt small
I clipped my wings and fell from flight
To open water
And floated farther
Away from myself

And I swam in the wakes of imposters
Just to feel what it's like to pretend
There's no dreams in the waves, only monsters
And the monsters are my only friends

They're all that I was
And never could be

Eyes in the dead still water
Tried but it pushed back harder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming
Knives in the backs of martyrs
Lives in the burning fodder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming

You found me drifted out to sea
It's automatic
It's telepathic
You always knew me
And you laugh as I search for a harbor
As you point where the halo had been
But the light in your eyes has been squandered
There's no angel in you in the end

And all that I was
I've left behind me

Eyes in the dead still water
Tried but it pushed back harder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming
Knives in the backs of martyrs
Lives in the burning fodder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming

Now I wait
This metamorphosis
All that is left is the change
Selfish fate
I think you made me this
Under the water I wait

Eyes in the dead still water
Tried but it pushed back harder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming
Knives in the backs of martyrs
Lives in the burning fodder
Cauterized and atrophied
This is my unbecoming