Real Life Fighting Is Awkward

[Funk Singer]

Real life fighting is awkward
It's not like movie fighting
Testosterone is rising
But you're really just grappling and writhing

Oh, real life fighting is awkward
There are no cool sound effects
Punching doesn't sound like anything
You often hurt yourself
More than you hurt the other guy

Real life fighting is awkward, yeah
Even if you know karate
You have to both agree to use karate
It can't just be one guy using karate
You gotta' have some ground rules

It's not like theater fighting
It's not graceful
There's not a lot of leaping
You don't have to presence of mind to leap
And there's no choreographer
Keeping things from looking awkward

Again, real life fighting is awkward
It's not like sci-fi fighting
You can't stop time momentarily
There are no futuristic weapons

And, even if you had a real weapon
You'd be freaked out by the weapon
A weapon makes everything too real

Back to that clumsy, awkward fighting!