Jap Battle (Reprise) (feat. Rachel Bloom & Rachel Grate)

[Audra]
All of our lives you were toxic
Obnoxious
Now though, you've brought me from nauseous to naches
I'm proud of you, Bunch
You're a grown-up, you got this
Kol hakavod, you're a goddess

[Rebecca]
Me?!
But you're so responsible
Career's on sizzle
Husband, ditto
Three great kiddos
You've got competence, class
Plus a skinny-ass waist
And a toned-ass ass

[Audra]
Well, you've got a free spirit, which I see and commend
So, like 2 Chainz without the NZ at the end
I wish you double chai
For following the tug
Of the heart behind your 36 triple-D jugs

[Rebecca]
Wow, what a boost for my confidence!

[Audra]
Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it up
I'm pretty good at giving compliments

[Rebecca]
Nice bubble, Bubbeleh, I really hate to pop it
But nobody's got a plaudit any hotter than I drop it

[Audra & Rebecca]
This is

[Audra]
A JAP praise fight

[Audra & Rebecca]
Half affirmation

[Rebecca]
Half cage fight

[Audra & Rebecca]
Killing you with kindness

[Audra]
Yeah, you're dang right

[Audra & Rebecca]
It's a head-to-head yasher koach mazel tov off

[Rebecca]
You know what?
Let's squash it, you're awesome

[Audra]
Seconded! Same!
Rebecca-wise, my game recognize game

[Rebecca]
Thanks, I appreciate that

[Audra]
Yeah, I mean, there's a reason I'm called Esteem queen Levine

[Rebecca]
Can it with the accolades-slash-shade-catapulting
You are the one who is great at adulting
All your hard work, ultimately resulting in triumph

[Audra]
Damn, that's some sneaky insulting
Skip the emotional judo
I am the B. Knowles-Carter of kudos

[Rebecca]
I'm the Lebron James of acclaim

[Audra]
Then you might as well call me the Michelle of the kvell

[Rebecca]
Go to hell!

[Audra & Rebecca]
This is

[Audra]
A JAP cheer scrimmage

[Audra & Rebecca]
Like a rap battle

[Rebecca]
But the mirror image

[Audra & Rebecca]
Both of us'll feel great

[Audra]
When we're finished

[Rebecca]
Giving a dope-slap of dap to this JAP

Which does stand for Jewish-American Princess
A term that, on one hand, does reinforce negative
Negative stereotypes about both Jews
And women but, on the other hand
Is a term that we want to reclaim and own
Also, should acknowledge that me saying dap to this jap
Is appropriative and a little problematic
If we’re being honest

This is touchy stuff and it's pretty complicated
But I noticed the dynamic and I thought that I should name it
Just like I hated you, but now I kinda like you
This song's another thing I can see two sides to

[Audra]
Terrific self-awareness

[Rebecca]
Knock it off, Audra!
You never stop, do you?

[Audra]
Can't and don't wanna

[Rebecca]
You're a wonderful lady
But an insufferable baby

[Audra]
Should we make out?

[Rebecca]
What?! No!
Maybe