Crushed

So I walk alone to reclaim what both of us had felt
I'm calling out to all anons to help me help myself
When I'm curious

The signals are a mess when I reach out to you
It's sad
I'm wishful in the way that I wish
You'd help find my way back

When I wander
I am fearless
I'm still near you
Can you hear this?

It's how I can put my hand on your back
In our bed and I still feel alone
Sometimes when you're home
I don't think that you're really home

Celebration
Am I worth it?
I call out to you
With no purpose
I just want you
With no reason
To deserve it

It's constantly bad
I feel constantly judged
I feel you and I feel crushed

And put on the spot
You do and you don't
Your eyes say both yes and no

I thought you'd respond if my entire self was you
I wake up enraged and throw my phone across the room

Stability
I don't have it
I just struggle with my stresses
And I'm social
Contradicting what is normal
How I'm feeling