Rockin’ Around the Pole

[GRETCHEN]
You've heard how Santa rides around on Christmas Eve

[REGINA]
And all that jingle jangle blah blah blah

[CADY]
But did you know on Christmas Day

[KAREN]
When he puts away his sleigh

[ALL]
He throws the hottest office party that you ever saw?

[REGINA]
And we're all rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
Where the northern lights are bright

[ALL]
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night

[REGINA]
We don't serve milk and cookies
We got gin and scotch
And so much mistletoe

[GRETCHEN]
Elves are dancin' on the tables
And streakin' through the stables
And makin' out in corners like a ho ho ho!

[CADY]
Oh, we're lighting up the tree
And playing Truth or Dare
And swinging from the chandelier

[KAREN]
And when we hang a stocking
On a doorknob, don't come knocking
(spoken)
And, hey, who took the sleigh out on a run for more beer?

[ALL]
We're rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
Where the northern lights are bright
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night

[CADY]
There's one thing every girl and boy should know
It's that elves can't hold their booze
[CADY & GRETCHEN]
Jinx and Sugar Plum are flying
And Joy is straight up crying!

[REGINA]
And Pixie and Gingersnap got tattoos!

[ALL]
Then Mrs. Claus cranks the music 'cause
She knows how to entertain, dear
And Santa shouts, "Hey, Mrs. Claus!"

[GRETCHEN]
"You rock the pole, and I'll make it reindeer."

[ALL]
"You rock the pole, and I'll make it reindeer!"
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
Where the northern lights are bright
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night

[REGINA & CADY]
We've waited very patient
For one day of vacation
[GRETCHEN]
The dancers on the floor are
As hot as a Menorah

[REGINA]
And Cupid's acting stupid

[KAREN]
And Comet starts to vomit

[CADY]
No children are invited

[ALL]
'Cause this party is the bomb! It's-
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
Where the northern lights are bright
Rock, rock, rockin' around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night

[CADY]
Well, we'll rock the pole-

[GRETCHEN]
Oh, it's out of control!

[REGINA]
Tomorrow we'll have traces

[KAREN]
Of eggnog in weird places

[ALL]
We'll rock that pole all night!