If & When

(I'm still)
This room gets smaller with every coat of paint
Nobody ever got better this way, hey, hey
(I'm still, hey, hey)
It's been two mean seasons
They say you won't come back
They say a girl who's decent
Would long be in her blacks by now

But I'm no young widow
Like they're calling me in town
I'll leave the light on in your window
If I have to burn the whole thing down

And I, (I'm staying) I'd stop, (waiting)
But the pilot light's the only guide to call you home
And I, (I'm staying) I'd stop, (waiting)
But the pilot light's the only beacon in the snow

After they turned the power out
After the candle sticks burned down
I burned the furniture, the picture frames, all the fabric in the house
I turned to photographs
Your voice came through the cold
Last words you said to soothe my nervousness
"Keep one light on, I'll always find my way"

I tore the
Pages from your books
Wallpaper down
And then I took myself upstairs
And your straight razor to my braids

When I exhausted all the tinder
The house was dark for days
Since I thought to remove the oven door
I've been kneeling here to guard this flame
The neighbors have stopped calling
Now their children come throw stones
And the papers from the bankers
Say they doubt you're coming home

They found a man you know
A drifter in the barn last year
While I was sleeping
Must have made it to the house
They found him frozen in your clothing, dear