Heaven's gate

I created those around me
Though, I don't know which is worse
'Cause playing God is funny till you have to choose who's dying first
I became the thing I feared, taking their lives in my hand
My innocence had consequences that I still don't understand

Iwas told that I was vital in the plan to save my life
So I promised mine in hopes I'd be the one wielding the knife
Our bodies were the vehicle, transporters of the soul
I was young and bold and stupid in a six-foot self-dug holе

Was I the only one to question anything thеy said?
I take it back, I'll follow till I fly or till I'm dead
My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact
I am unapologetic for the sympathy I lacked
I left my body back in California 'cause I'm weak
Overdosed on phenobarbital, It's part of my mystique

So, in '97, I gave up my future
I'd been raised to reject my human nature
In the hopes that I'd be praised
I thought SOS meant save our souls
Instead, it meant Jack shit
'Cause nobody came to help me when I told myself I'd quit
I trusted blindly, was it wrong for me to latch on tight?
'Cause I didn't realize nettles stung and apples weren't all white
Ignorance is bliss or maybe ignorance is bait
'Cause I didn't deserve heaven, but I'm standing at its gate

Was I the only one to question anything they said?
I take it back, I'll follow till I fly or till I'm dead
My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact
I am unapologetic for the empathy I lacked
I left my body back in Cali, I'm not bothered to return
The taste of apple sauce and vodka aren't my main concerns
(Aren't my main concerns)

Giving up is easy when the default's to survive
'Cause a better life will only cost three quarters and a five
I'll meet you in the promised paradise we often preach
So I'd hope for liberation, but that isn't what we teach

My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact
I am unapologetic for the empathy I lacked
I left my body back in San Diego, Santa Fe
They could tell me fucking nonsense with the knowledge I'd obey