Maybe Man

Wish I was a stone
So I couldn’t feel
You’d yell in my face
It’d be no big deal
But I’d miss the way
We make up and smile
Don’t want to be stone
I changed my mind

I wish I had eyes
In the back of my head
Then I could see
The places I’ve been
But then I would know
That you’re talking shit
I don’t wanna know
What my friends think

Wish I were my dog
Out on the lawn
I’d be so glad
When I hear you come home
But if I were my dog
I wouldn’t live long
I'm sure gonna miss her
When she’s gone

I wish I could act
In a show on TV
Cause then I could practice
Not being me
I’ll practice my cry
Put it into my reel
But you won’t believe me
When I cry for real

I wish that my brain
Would triple in size
I’d nail every joke
I’d win every fight
But I’d get too deep
With that kinda mind
I don’t wanna know
The point of life

In some other life
I would be rich
I’d travel in style
I'd cover the bill
But couldn’t complain
‘Bout anything small
Nobody’d feel bad for me at all

If I was cocaine
Or a bottle of Jack
I’d get invited
To every frat
But when you get old
And your good days have passed
You’ll only want me
When you’re sad

Wish I was a song
Your favorite one
You’d follow the dance
To me at your prom
I would be there
When your baby is born
For two or three minutes
Then I'm gone

I wish I was big
As big as my house
I’d sleep on the trees
I’d skip every crowd
But I wouldn’t fit
On my therapist’s couch
God I could
Really use him now

I wish I was God
I’d never trip up
And if I did
Well so fuckin what
I could be cruel
And break all your stuff
Yet, I’d be loved
No matter what

But if I was God
It’d get kinda weird
Cause you would only say
What I wanna hear
And then you would die
You’d love me to death
I’d never know
Who the hell I am

I wish I was me
Whoever that is
I could just be
And not give a shit
Hey I’ll be whatever
Makes you a fan
Cause I don’t know
Who the hell I am

One, Two, Pandemonium
One, Two, Pandemonium

Here I go again
One, Two, Pandemonium

Here I go again
One, Two, Pandemonium

One, Two, here I go again