Ironic

[Frankie]
An old man turned 98
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

And isn't it ironic
Don't you think?

[David]
Hold up, wait a second!
That's actually not ironic

[Student]
Right
If we are using irony as defined in Greek tragedy
I don't see how, like, a fly in your beverage applies

[David]
That's not irony
That's just like shitty

[Frankie]
Can I please finish my piece?

[Frankie]
Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought: Well isn't this nice

And isn't it ironic

[David]
It's not though

[Lily]
It would be irony if the guy in the crash was like an airplane mechanic

[Phoenix]
How 'bout you guys let her finish?

[Frankie]
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought—it figures!

Well, life has a funny way

[Phoenix]
Of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay
And everything's going right

[Frankie]
And life has a funny way

[Phoenix]
Of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong
And everything blows up in your face

[Frankie]
It's a traffic jam when you're already late

[Teacher]
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

[Phoenix]
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

[Frankie]
It's like meeting the boy of my dreams
And then meeting his

[Phoenix]
I'm not seeing anyone

[Frankie]
And isn't it ironic
Don't you think?

[Frankie and Phoenix]
A little too ironic

[Phoenix]
Yeah, I really do think

[Frankie and Phoenix]
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought, it figures!

[Frankie]
Well, life has a funny way

[Phoenix]
Of sneaking up on you

[Frankie]
Yeah, life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

[Frankie and Phoenix]
Helping you out