No Hablo Inglés

Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!

You-you-you-you-you!

Uno! Dos! Tres! Quatro!

My teacher asked me where my homework was and that's when I told her
"No hablo Ingles"
Policeman caught me doing ninety and that's when he pulled me over
"No hablo Ingles"

A hippie with a tambourine asking me if I could spare a dollar
"No hablo Ingles"
Some douchebag at the club tries to pick a fight and grabs my collar
"No hablo Ingles"

(One!)
When I'm not feeling it!
(Two!)
When someone's full of shit!
(Three!)
When I get cut off at the ba-a-a-a-ar!

To make a getaway
It's all you've gotta say!
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)

My nephew asked me if I'd take him to the Jonas Brothers movie
"No hablo Ingles"
Walking my dog I saw a sign that says to please pick up the doodie
"No hablo Ingles"

My mama gets mad 'cause I never call my dad on his birthday
"No hablo Ingles"
A guy walks up and says "Doda esta casel de pepe"
... He no hablo Ingles

(One!)
So many different uses!
(Two!)
You don't need no excuses!
(Three!)
It's as easy as the third gra-a-a-a-ade!

The perfect getaway!
It's all you've gotta say!
(Quatro! Sinco! Seis!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)

Did you brush your teeth!?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Where'd you leave your pants!?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Did you feed the fish!?
(No hablo Ingles!)
Do you like my band!?
... Wait, don't answer that

"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"

Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Did one of you guys pee in the pool?
"No hablo Ingles!"

Hey! how 'bout we all get together and go to the ballet!?
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
... Can I borrow that beer?
"No hablo Ingles!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
"No hablo Ingles!"
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
"No hablo Ingles!"
"No hablo Ingles!"